Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Expectations and Goals

While reading about coming to Thailand, I seemed to find that almost every article or packet I read was telling me not to make any expectations about my trip. Of course, even if I was not consciously attempting to make expectations, I am human, so it was inevitable. I think the main expectation I have about being in Thailand is to meet many new people and make new friends--people within the Thai Studies program as well as Thai people. Also, I think I pretty much assumed from the start that I should expect to have new and interesting experiences. This seems to be proving true--starting with the trip to Mae Chaem. Not only was it a new experience (living with a family I just met in a place I've never been to before), but there was also a language barrier, making the trip a bit challenging. I really expect to be challenged in a lot of ways. From encountering these new experiences to tackling the language barrier to living away from home continuously for several months (having never done so without a visit or two and many phone calls), this semester appears to have many angles from which it can attack me in very challenging ways.

I did, on the other hand, have several goals in mind before I arrived in Thailand. The first of which is to learn enough Thai to have a basic conversation without reverting back to English and while completely understanding what is being said. I think this may be difficult because I am especially shy, and I find it hard to say anything in Thai (from the little vocabulary I have so far) without getting flustered or embarrassed. This somewhat leads to my second goal, which is to step outside of my "safety bubble". Because I am shy and I get nervous easily, I find it comforting to find myself a small group of friends and to mainly communicate with them unless I absolutely have to talk to someone else. If I can break out of this habit, if I can step out of my bubble and allow myself to take chances and make mistakes, not only do I think I will have a better chance of attaining my first goal, but I also think I will learn more from the experience as a whole. Even if I do not always get positive results, I think the more I learn to step outside the bubble, the more comfortable I will be doing so.